Untitled and bleh

Hi. I've been meaning to write sooner, but the lethargy just gets to me when I try to. I'll start by apologizing for my latest blogs. They've all recently had a very gloomy mood to them, most of them dealing with death or the futility of life. Not surprisingly, this has made my own thoughts of life and death come to the surface, as represented in my writing and demeanor.

For starters, I spent way too much of the last month watching Six Feet Under. Over the course of a month, I watched five full seasons of the show. I went through an entire series that took most people six years to go through. On top of the compression of time I should have spent watching the show, it is a very powerful series. The characters are all very well written so you get attached and emotionally invested in their lives and the things they go through. The final few episodes especially were a constant barrage of silent tears and painful knots stuck in the back of my throat.

Not many people answered the question I posed in the last blog about religion and it's value to a person. As a matter of fact, only one person answered (thanks Javier). So I continue to be dissatisfied with the religion explanation. And it's not only because nobody answered my blog. I've noticed plenty of my friends have some sort of religious or biblical quote attesting to their so-called "dedication to God" plastered on their Myspace or Facebook profiles, yet those same pages are riddled with photos of them taking part in less than exemplary activities. Whether you claim to be religious or not, hypocrisy is not a quality I admire. I've also been discussing this matter to a great degree in many of the online communities that I frequent. I've been convinced there is no end to the discussion. I am not one to preach my own beliefs too often, but I'll share some wise words I heard not too long ago. Again we go back to Six Feet Under as the ghost of Nate Fisher said once:

“You only get one life. There's no God, no rules, no judgments except for those you accept or create for yourself. Now once it's over, it's over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. Sow why not be happy while you're here?”

Lately, I've also been struggling with some sort of sleeping disorder. Here's the deal. At night, I try to sleep normally. But at some point in the early morning, usually pre-dawn, my sleep is interrupted. After this, no matter how hard I try, I can't fall back asleep. I wake up and watch TV or get on my computer. Then, about mid afternoon, I become a zombie. I get really sleepy and I can't really think straight. By about 8PM at the latest, I am asleep either on my bed or the couch. I stay asleep until... you guessed it, the following pre-dawn morning when my sleep is interrupted and I can't fall back asleep. I've tried forcing myself to get back to normal sleeping patterns, but it's really hard to do. I think it all might be being caused by my recurring ear problems. I'm gonna have to figure something out before school starts again in a few weeks.

Speaking of, I'm really excited to get back to school. I did so well last semester, I'm anxious to get back to actually being productive in something rather than being this rotting non-sleeping vegetable I've turned into. Maybe if I can find purpose through school it'll leak over into other aspects of my routine and I can join the rest of the civilized world.

Current projects still include a few screenplays I really want to finish writing soon, and the construction of a new computer in the coming weeks. I'm really excited for a new powerful toy, considering my current machine is a piece of crap.

Well, I'll sign off for now. Thanks for reading. I promise the next one will be much more cheery and will come much sooner. :)