Last I blogged (there has to be a better word than that), I was feeling unsure about a rekindled relationship with an old flame. But a few days ago, I suddenly became sure of it all. I became sure I'm no longer interested. It's not so much that I dislike her, but I just don't find anything appealing about trying to develop something between us. She's a very nice person and she's very attractive, but there's no depth to our connection. Our conversations are pretty superficial and not of much variety. It's not like we've known each other for a few weeks or months and are using the time to get to know each other. I've known her for more than half my life and we've been talking regularly on and off for the last two years. I just don't think we have enough common "content" for us to really maintain any sort of serious relationship if we ever hoped for it to get there. Bad thing is... I haven't really talked to her about it. I've just been kind of ignoring her for the last few days. But that's okay, she did that to me in the past too.
The NBA draft has come and gone. I haven't written about it much, but if you know me well, you know I'm a basketball superfan. I keep very close to any bball related news, and am a member of about four different basketball-related online organizations. (I've combined my geekiness with my love of the game) There was a buttload of rumors going around about my hometown Suns, especially with the possibility of making a trade for Kevin Garnett. The problem was, the rumors included trading away Amare "Standing Tall And Talented" Stoudemire, and that didn't sit well with me. Luckily, nothing big was done other than trading away a bench role player and a draft pick. Better things could have happened at the draft, but I'm mostly glad the team is returning the core players that are just one step (actually about five steps off the bench) from winning the NBA Championship. I'm ready to root for another year. This summer's gonna be hard to keep myself busy while I wait for the season to start. Maybe I'll start watching baseball again... nah.
I've semi-redone my Myspace and Virb profiles. They're basically the same, except for a few differences independent of the features of the site they are on. Neither is done, but they're both usable. Go to each one and let me know if they're half-way decent at least.
I haven't done any creative work lately, and that's really bumming me out. I want to get back to writing some screenplays and short stories that will turn into screenplays. But a passion project that I've put on hold is the webcomic I wanted to develop. I've lost track of that since my artist has lost interest. If you're reading this... you're on the clock. I want to get this going soooon. If there are any cartoonist or artists out there that might be interested in getting in on this, drop me a line. I'd do the drawings myself, but I have not talent when it comes to cartooning. I'd prefer someone with a distinctive artistic style to draw to my stories. It's the way the quintessential webcomic Penny Arcade does it. One guy writes while the other draws. It just works. I still don't want to talk about the premise too much, so that I won't see it pop up someday before I could do it.
I've started semi-talking to my mom again. It's nice. They're at least friendly conversations, and I can tell she's happy we're talking again. I've been dreaming her baby lately. She's a really pretty little girl in my dreams. When I wake up, I get anxious to meet her and watch her grow up. Then I get bummed out when I remember that my dad doesn't know my mom's pregnant yet. (In case you didn't catch that, it's not his child; they've been separated for years) Sometimes I can tell he still has emotional attachment to her. She is the mother of his children, so I'm sure he still cares about her. I get scared at how much it might hurt him when he finds out. I know for sure I don't want to be the one that tells him, especially accidentally. Late into her pregnancy, or even after the baby is born, I'll ask her to tell him. Just so that it's a load off my own mind and I can be a normal (half-)brother. I don't like to use the term, because it's like giving a lower classification to our kinship. She'll be my sister and nothing less. I hope that this new addition to the family will be a way for my mom to start fresh and find happiness after years of pain and misery. Despite whatever she's done to me, I love her and want her to be happy.
Well, it's late and I have nothing else to add for now. I'll check in again in a few days hopefully. I'm sure I forgot something right now, but in the meantime... adieu.
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